Life is a Lie

Secrets are meant to be kept, not to be told. But I couldn't force my self to keep this burden on my own. Well, as I tried to let it out, some of my friends said that I was joking. I was fooling around with them. How on earth now everyone does not trust me anymore? Did I always telling lies to all the people, especially my friends? And because of that they will never believe and trust me anymore? I'm lost and I feel like I have nothing to do now. I have no directions at all. I don't know where to go and what to do. Does it really matters in my life? Do I need it for every single second of my life and I could not move on without it attached on me? Good God, this is tougher than what I have thought. Please give me some strength.